so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
