I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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