respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have peed in a lot of sinks
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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