Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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