If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize