Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
