How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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