he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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