Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
