i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
