and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
