you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
