i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
