and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
