38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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