guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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