I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
