Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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