i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
