fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
