No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
