is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
