I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
either way he was missing a nipple.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
