thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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