In the future we'll all be gay
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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