Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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