hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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