"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
