I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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