You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize