Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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