I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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