Ketchup is God's man juice
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
