first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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