I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize