I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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