I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
