You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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