i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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