ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
