i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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