So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize