Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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