That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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