Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
