So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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