i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
