just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize