Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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