Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
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But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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