I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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