Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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