Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
