It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
