I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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