You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
