new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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