Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
