i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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