I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
