i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
